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FINN

Monkey Girls Part 2

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Everyone who joinded in on my problem wednesday, I could use your help right now. Danielle called me and said she wanted to see me when she got back from Miami. She said the whole day was up to me. I need to win her back and Im sure that i can.

Her reason for breaking up was that she loved me but, "shes not in love with me anymore" She said i had changed from the begginning of our relationship. Now that I think about it, there were times where i had become negligent but isnt this how most relationships go? or am i just retarded.

But here is the deal: I have a whole day i am dedicating to her. I skipping everything including hockey. Would it be wiser to take her to a very very fancy restaurant or cook something amazing and set the mood with candles and roses and scents, and whatnots. I am quite a cook so that is not a problem.

Anything else you guys would be willing to chime in on. This is going to change my life tremendously so i would appreciate honest opinions. Thanks for everything guys. You are all a very good group of people.

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Finn,

If she says that "you've changed" you need to evaluate that. Have you? Step back and think what your relationship was like when you first started dating. Do you still appreciate her as much? Do you show it? Any long term relationship takes lots of work, I don't know how much work you've been putting into it, but if you really want her back, you need to prove to her that you still love her, you still apprecaite her, support her, listen to her, and so on. You don't neccesarily have to dump tons of $$$ on her when she gets back from Florida, but you do need to show a big effort.

Does she support/listen/put lots of effort into you? Seriously Finn, women want to hear that you've THOUGHT about things, and have really put effort into thinking what you did wrong, why it was wrong, how you will never do it again. They're smart creatures. Just like you and me. :D

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I will say this, I know you don't want to hear this but here it goes. You are young, when you are really in love you will know it. The both of you will know it, and it will be overwhelming. The same thing happened to me when I was about 16~17, I thought I was heads over heals for this girl and she dumped me for the EXACT same reasons as your girl did you. It was really hard to get over her at first but then I met my wife. I knew right away she was the one I was going to marry and she knew the same about me. So just take this for what ever it's worth. Best of luck to ya..

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its not all about one night or just one thing you can do for her, from now on just start opening every door for her and the whole 9 be the perfect oldfashiion geltlemen

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You know her better than we do... some girls LOVE to have attention heaped on them, some find that the chase is more appealing. Some girls like to be treated like crap and some like the opposite.

You have to recall how she was when you met and try to rekindle that. At the same time, do you want her to like you for who you are or who you were?

If you've changed, then you've changed. You have to work with that.

Be true to yourself - the right girl will love you for that.

-Chris

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You know her better than we do... some girls LOVE to have attention heaped on them, some find that the chase is more appealing. Some girls like to be treated like crap and some like the opposite.

You have to recall how she was when you met and try to rekindle that. At the same time, do you want her to like you for who you are or who you were?

If you've changed, then you've changed. You have to work with that.

Be true to yourself - the right girl will love you for that.

-Chris

Wise words.

Don't be someone you're not. It may hurt more now, but in the long run, you'll be much better off. If you be someone you're not now, you'll find yourself in this same situation in a few months time.

Getting back to getting her back ... Women are suckers for roses. (I should get some on the way home) and maybe the home-cooked meal would be more heart-felt than dishing out cash to impress.

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Finn, I cannot give you anymore advice other than be true to your heart and do what you feel is right, all else will follow. If she doesn't love you because she says that you have changed then that means that there is someone out there for you that is more fit for you. I know it sounds harsh, but a love worthwhile does not come easy. You have to work at love, have faith and don't let yourself get down.

Remember it is like they always say, "The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach." This is so true she will be appreciative of your hard work and you will dazzle her with your effort. Get a nice bottle of wine and try to make her comfortable, show her that she is very important to you and be real, follow your heart, and faith will find it's way in your relationship with Danielle. Make sure you tell her how you feel. :)

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off topic but finn, you play hockey? at what level? i played for 14 years in seattle and i was pretty close to playing jr.s but it didnt work out

what pos.? i was a goalie :ph34r:

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I read everyones response with great care. Thank you so much.

Jake: I have played about the same amount as you. I got an anvitation to go play JR's a little wihle back but I declined because i would have had to move a few hours away.

Right now im just playing mens league but next year im planning on playing College hockey at a new University.

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right on, frewing up playing hockey as thought me alot of life leasson and has made me who i am now, love the sport and eveything that goes with it, if you play hockey then you got to be discapline and im sure you will get though this

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Yes i have always been an extremely stoic person. This is the first girl that brought me down to my knees in tears.

Its a sad thought but the more I think about the situation, the more I grow emotionally. Even though at this moment I feel like I just lost everything I had in life..... I bet I will look back at this and see how this helped me become a stonger and smarter person.

I dont know what I would do I didnt have you guys and old friends to talk to at this moment.

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Yes i have always been an extremely stoic person.  This is the first girl that brought me down to my knees in tears.

Its a sad thought but the more I think about the situation, the more I grow emotionally.  Even though at this moment I feel like I just lost everything I had in life..... I bet I will look back at this and see how this helped me become a stonger and smarter person.

I dont know what I would do I didnt have you guys and old friends to talk to at this moment.

That's what we're here for man. :D It's nice to be able to chat about other things now and again with a bunch of great guys that share the same hobby as you.

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Ok, I haven't read all of the other replies above so I might be duplicating what they've said.

Anyway, first of all let me say that I have been impressed with how you've handled this situation so far. You were pissed (understandably), but you asked for advice, and seems like you listened to everything everyone said and tried to take it for what it was, and to see how it might help you. Congradulations, not many people ever do that.

Now, on to my advice. When I was first dating my gf (now wife), she wanted to break up with me for similar reasons. I had changed, and she didn't like it. Basically I never let it get so far as to breaking up. We both sat down for 6 hours and talked about how she felt. It took a good amount of time for her to just tell me what her real problem was. It was simply that she was scared. Scared cause she had never felt this way about a guy before, scared of what other people thought about us, and scared about never meeting any other guys. After talking, we both realized that breaking up would be the worst thing, and that we'd just have to fight through that time (any many to follow) together

My advice? Do something with just both of you, very intimate to ease into the situation, and then find a quite, private place, where you are completely alone, and talk out how you feel. Try to find the real reason for what's going on, and if its something that can be worked out together or if it's something that isn't. Be sure both of you really listen to eachother and what they're trying to say (it might not be obvious). This way you'll either both know that you can make it together, or that it's best you go your separate ways before it goes any farther.

That said, time to go study for my last final.

BTW, looks like the shift nob is yours

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Finn, is this the same chick from the car wash pics? If so, yes get back together :D

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