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narxs70

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this is going to be a lengthy post. sorry

on Thursday i changed the oil and spark plugs in the s70. no big deal right? first off i cant get the oil filter wrench to work properly, it just wouldn't loosen the filter. so i finally got it to work after about 30 mins, no big deal, i knew it was going to happen. drain the oil, replace the plug, and fill the filter with oil. i decide i would remove the spark plug cover while my brother (i still have not understood what i was thinking) would install the filter. he says he's done and crawls out, i ask him how he got the fiter tightened so fast and how he didn't use the wrench at all. :huh: he says it's tight and he couldn't turn it anymore but he would check it again, yeah it's tight and snug to the top. okay, cool. (i'm thinking he needs a g/f with the kind of grip he would need to tighten the filter all the way tight with no wrench). fill it with oil-done. no worries.

on to the spark plugs. why in all of God's creation would Volvo Engineers think that crinkle s#it would work for more than 30k miles and not crumble and fall into your engine? to this question i still do not have an answer. anyways, coil pack 1 removed, crumbled plastic falls into the hole-"Dam". now this is where it gets redneck, i take the shop vac, suck up as much as i can. then with there still being considerable amounts of plastic in there, i duct tape a make shift funnel together to get further down into the hole-clean and done. and if my s.o.b. brother doesn't do the same thing to plug #2! here we go again, after we finished with that plug i just crumbled everything that would crumble and vac'ed it out. #3,4,5 were no problem after that. them little buggers are quite tight in there. and if i can get my buddy to bring his camera monday i'll post up some pics of the plugs for all to see.

back to the oil, during the time all this is happening, my brother is changing some hinges on the back glass of his 91 s-10 blazer. well, he busted the back glass. here is where the real story begins (i had to give you a little background so you would know how crappy my day was). so, in the newly partly stage0-ed Volvo we head out for the glass shop my step-mom works for. on the way back from there i notice i've got a valve noise, :huh: , so we stop at Autozone and sure as all that is holy i'm leaking a sizeable amount of oil ( you could see where i had driven). check the level, nothing registers, "crap". run in and get 2 qts (this makes 8 so far) pour it in. level okay to drive the 3 miles to his shop. get there tighten the filter another 1 1/2 turns! fixed it right, wrong. by now i've got to go to my house cuz my wife is griping so bad. although, now i have the leak fixed i think.

next morning i get up and there is the same leak, ahh wtf?! check the oil bout a qt low, drive to work 22.5 miles, check the oil not much loss but lower than i want. do my days work and check the oil before starting the car, no reading what so ever. jump in a buddies car and run to the parts store to buy 3 qts (surely it won't take that), but like a seasoned porn star it takes it all and ask for more. this time i drive the car to Autozone and buy another 3 qts (this thing is an old whore now), takes all those to fill. buy 3 more qts. for when i get home, here we go again with the removal of the filter-30 mins of cussing and knucklebusting. get the filter off and fix the o-ring (smack myself on the head). put the filter back on and fill oil. FIXED for real this time.

So, basically i'm buying stock n Castrol b/c the stock is likely to go up with all the oil i have bought over the last 2 days. i'm still about 1 qt low and my wife's car needs a half qt, then hopefully i'll be done buying oil for 3000 miles. which shouldn't take me more than 4-5 weeks with all the holiday travel i have planned. so basically, i will have bought 17 qts @ nearly $3 a qt. plus my $12 filter. $63 and a good lesson to do the maintenance work MYSELF.

hopefully, you don't feel i've wasted your time. i had to tell you guys the story b/c it was funny and educational.

Let the ripping begin.

and again thanks for reading. :D

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Guest 300+_T5R_855

It certainly shows now that your from Arkansas...

:D

You only tighten your oil filter by hand, not with the filter wrench.

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How many beers did you and your brother drink while doing this work? I find the less I drink the better the job it.....LOL.

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wow... can you say off-topic... but anyways... glad to hear you figured out the oil filter situation.

um... I have never used an oil filter wrench to tighten any of the filters on my 850 ;) or S70 for that matter

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wow... can you say off-topic... but anyways... glad to hear you figured out the oil filter situation.

um... I have never used an oil filter wrench to tighten any of the filters on my 850 ;) or S70 for that matter

me neither, just a little oil around the lip to help seal and tighten it as tight as I can using my massive guns. haha.

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some times i have to go down the street to get one of the weak little 8-year olds to tighten it as tight as they can, and that usually does the job.

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don't u open a bottle of oil to dab a little on the filter? thats what we always do... just to make sure you don't break the seal?

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