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[cranky]

Assuming that you are basically stranded -
If your car cranks, but will not start:
One thing you can do, is to remove the cap on the end of the fuel rail, and check to see if there is good fuel pressure. (provided that the engine is not hot)
If there is no pressure, have someone crank the engine, while another person HITS the fuel tank with their hand, or if you can remove the cover to the fuel pump, and tap on the top of the fuel pump. Often this will get the fuel pump running again, but don't turn the engine off until you get where you are going - because it may do the same thing when you turn it off.
If you have fuel pressure, and you suspect that the engine is flooded, you can remove the cover to the fuel injectors, and unplug the fuel injectors and crank the engine. Yes, I know there are other ways, to do this, but if you don't know which fuse to remove, and or you have a trunk full of stuff and don't want to disconnect the pump, this is one thing you can try while you are standing there with the hood up wondering what to do next - and it requires no tools.
I've personally used both of these methods with success.
Good luck, and I hope you never have to do any of this.