When I was growing up, I always loved sports. Baseball was my forte, and I loved to practice and play. I was also very interested in music; since the age of 8 or so I had been actively involved in playing an instrument. As I continued to grow, I was torn between my 2 loves: sports and music. The harsh reality of sports was brought apparent once I neared the 7th grade as I broke my leg playing baseball. I was honestly too scared to play again, but I did it anyways. The next season I was put on a team that lost every game, and I'm sure you all know what I did after that.
However, I continued on my musical track through middle school and onto high school. Freshman year was a turbulent year for me, as I struggled with the lack of friends and had a brush with suicide. Music kept me going though, and I continued to play in the school orchestra. Throughout middle school, I had participated in solo competitions for music; I played the contrabass clarinet. Every year of middle school I entered these solo competitions and won every time. I played in junior symphonies and orchestras and was invited to many musically themed schools. During the middle of my freshman year I had letters sent to me from colleges telling me that they were very interested in my musical abilities and wanted me to go to their college when I graduated. I was set up as far as high school and college opportunities went, and I couldn't have been happier
Freshman year changed all of that. I switched schools near the end of my freshman year because of my suicide attempt, which really was for the better for me. I started at a small private school which, unfortunately, did not have an orchestra. Obviously, I missed playing in orchestras; but I didn't DO anything about it. I didn't tell my parents that I wanted to continue with something that I loved so much. And so life went on, without music in my life.
I picked up playing the drums after all of this had happened, but it never was the same as playing in an orchestra. I missed the feeling of my instrument in my hands.
Looking back, I wonder what I could have become. I wonder if I had stayed at public school if I could have become something that I had always wanted to become.