Noahkk19 Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 This is a true story based on a medical report, andcontains disturbing descriptions. Warning! Read atyour own risk. One morning a doctor was summoned to the emergencyroom by the head burse, who directed him to a patientwho had refused to describe his problem morespecifically than to request "a doctor who took careof men's troubles." The patient was pale, feverish andobviously uncomfortable, and he had little to say ashe gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit ofangry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin. The nurse left the two men in private and thepatient permitted the doctor to remove his trousersand two or three yards of fouls smelling, stainedgauze wrapped around his tender scrotum which wasswollen to the size of a grapefruit. A jagedlaceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down theleft scrotum. Amid the matted hair, skin and pus, the doctorspotted some half buried dark linear objects, andinterrogated the patient on their identity. Severaldays earlier the man allowed that he had injuredhimself at work in the machine shop, and he had closedthe laceration with a staple gun. The linear objectswere one inch staples used to mount wallboard. The medical staff x-rayed the patients scrotum tolocate the staples and give him tetanus-antitoxin,broad spectrum antibiotics and a hexachlorophene Sitzbath prior to surgerey the next morning. Eight rusty staples were excised. The left testiclehad been torn off and was missing, but the stump ofthe spermatic cord was recovered and stitched shut.Convalescence was uneventful and before his release aweek later the patient confided his story to thedoctor. An unmarried loner he rarely lunched withhis co-workers. finding himself alone at noon, he hadbegun the regular practice of masturbating by holdinghis penis against the canvas drive-belt of a largepiece of machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm,he lost his concentration and leaned too close to thebelt. His scrotum suddenly became caught between thepulley wheel and drive belt and he was throw into theair landing a few feet away. Unaware that he had losthis left testis, and too traumatized to feel muchpain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work. We can only assume he abandoned this method ofself-gratification. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V Tuning 850 Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 That's nasty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cRRRRazy Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 dang man...........save up for a hooker or sumthin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veneficus Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Ow.So the moral of the story is buy yourself a hooker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johann Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Ow.So the moral of the story is buy yourself a hooker.←Nah, grease the belt.. :monkey: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veneficus Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Nah, grease the belt.. ← /em vomits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R4Life Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Nah, grease the belt.. ←I agree :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
855R Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 What a loser, excuse me while I got throw up my lunch.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewin4u Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Gives all new meaning to "Polishing the knob" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWagin Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 (thinking of something to say after reading this but drawing a blank and bent over as if I'd been kicked in the ballz) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
855R Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 I just thought of this, don't you think even a fat chick is better than a BELT SANDER. This guy should have tried for a fatty, at least you wont get your balls torn off :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Che'_Moderator Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Holy urban legend batman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 i wonder what the guy was thinking at least, people like that have to have a screw loose... *goes to try it* LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C70drvr Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 :lol: That's so terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R4Life Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Holy urban legend batman←Wasnt there a guy on the Darwin awards who did something similar where he got fried cause when he blew his load, he short circuited the equipment he was using? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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